The loser’s guide to traveling alone.

Who am I kidding?

We all know I’m not a loser.

But, sometimes traveling alone can make you feel that way.

Your shots consist of a series of “self-portraits” in which you try to find the perfect balance of background and nostril because you’re too embarrassed to whip out your travel tripod in front of the bus of Asian tourists.

You’re the only person in your hostel room that isn’t part of a group that’s traveling together.

You sit in the common area and instead of people flocking to sit at your feet and hear your travel adventures while little bunnies braid your hair, they continue on as if you aren’t there.

Traveling solo has its perks (many, many perks), but it can screw with you a little bit if you don’t go into it with the right mindset and a few essential pieces of gear.

1. Invest in a good book and/or (I can’t believe I’m about to say this, I’m a real book kind of girl) e-reader. You want to do this not so that you can bury your nose in it and hide after only 5 minutes of trying to socialize in a common area. Sometimes you do have to walk up and introduce yourself. So do that. People will respond and more often than not be nice to you. Depending on where you’re traveling, people might not approach you because they’re simply not sure what language you speak. But you do need to have some sort of travel reading with you for train rides that aren’t particularly scenic or for the ability to read something that isn’t the menu when you find yourself in a restaurant by yourself. Just make sure you don’t use it as a tool for anti-social behavior.

2. Hone your elevator speech. Don’t rehearse it. But have a general idea of what you want to get across when people ask you things like, “Where are you from?” “Where have you traveled?” “What’s your favorite part about so and so?” These are the traveler’s equivalent of the just-back-from-summer-break-college-questions. “What did you do?” “How was home?” “Are you ready to be back?” The questions themselves get redundant which can either make you lazy, causing you to provide one-word answers, or make you want to elaborate and get in that random, minute detail that you forgot to tell the last person. Here’s the thing, nobody wants to hear, “It’s OK,” with no further explanation in response to a question about a place you’ve visited, but they also don’t want to hear about that time you were caught in a toilet stall with no toilet paper and you had to tap out SOS in Morse code on the bathroom stall because you didn’t speak the native language.

Or maybe they do.

But it’s always good to keep a mental note of your stories and experiences that are likely to bring out the most lively conversations with people. Story swapping is a great way to make friends along the way, so try to make the most of it.

3. Chin up. WAY up. Not everyone is going to want to be your new best friend. Some people are already traveling with their close friends or significant others and might not be interested in picking up another person for the group. This doesn’t mean that they hate you and want you to die a slow painful death, this just means that their travel companion needs have been met. Move along and meet someone new.

4. Whenever possible, have a local phone number. It’s free or cheap to unlock your cell phone and pretty inexpensive to get a local SIM card (just don’t get an Orange plan if you’re in the UK. They are communists will go out of their way to be unhelpful). Why do this? Well. One, if you’re traveling alone, you need to be able to call hotels, cab services, or emergency services should something happen. So always take note of those numbers. But two? Smoke signals aren’t all the rage anymore, and when you do make friends, you want to be able to call or text them to make plans to meet up.

5. Go see and do things anyway. There are some activities you may not feel comfortable doing without a travel partner. This is going to be different for different people. For me, I was worried about going sand boarding by myself. Who would stand at the bottom of the hill and stop me if I went careening off into the middle of the desert? Who would I take silly jumping pictures with at the top of the dune? While it would have been nice to have a friend, I had a great time regardless. Talk to your tour guides or instructors, they’ll give you great insight into the area or activity that you maybe wouldn’t have gotten if you were immersed in conversation with your travel partner. And better yet? Talk to the other people around you. Chances are you’ll have something in common with someone in the crowd, or you’ll find someone else that was on the lookout for a travel buddy of their very own.

6. Embrace it. I don’t think you learn more about yourself doing anything as when your traveling alone. You get to take in experiences in a different way, unclouded by someone else’s internalization of it. You get to go where you want, do what you want and be where you want on your own timetable. Plans can change more easily and often for the better when you have only yourself to consider. So yes, traveling with a buddy is fun. But traveling alone can be life-changing. Don’t be embarrassed if you’re taking self-portraits or setting up your tripod for the perfect shot. That picture will last forever and a possible judgy look from a fellow tourist will fade quicker than you think.

The fannypack they are wearing, however, won’t, and you can take solace in that fact.

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